2010-08-31

Request to the Twitter Team

I recently asked the wife why she preferred a third party Twitter app of the official app for Android. She replied with a simple and short answer, "It does not remember where I was in the timeline". Fair enough, but I like the Twitter app better than the one she is using, and know that she would too if it did what she needed. So like any good awesome epic, husband, I told her I would see what I could do.
What follows is the message I sent to Twitter to see about the issue. Time will tell on it's resolution.

Subject: Android App, Timelines, My Demanding Wife
Greetings from my laptop.
I have been a Twitter user for sometime now and am very pleased with your service in general. I also am a very avid Android user, and was incredibly pleased when you released your official app for Android. Unfortunately, my wife (@tracitenkely) flat out refuses to share the same enthusiasm as I do regrading the official app. Her initial frustration arose regrading the app's need for Android version 2.1, but that was easily remedied thanks to a custom flavor of 2.1 from Cyanogenmod (my wife is still rocking a G1, like a champ. This is something I am working to remedy but so far have been unsuccessful). Anyway, I thought sweet, problem solved. Oh no, this woman is incorrigible! Despite it running very smoothly, she insists that the app not being able to remember where she left off in her timeline is a deal breaker! Crazy, right?! I guess she really likes to read every, single, bloody, tweet that comes across her stream. Me, I don't really mind either way, but I am pretty sure that my desire for her to utilize the official app for things like contact sync and her refusal to do so because of the timeline issue could very well drive a deep wedge between us. The kind of wedge that over time slowly and painfully drives both parties to the brink of insanity. Where evil plans are quietly hatched to ensure the other sees the correct point of view. Where we both end up in dark, dank, secret, laboratories developing Twitter zombies to flood the other person's stream with talking points and irrelevant #braaaaains hash tags... Where inevitably all the Twitter zombies break free of their confinement tanks only to flood the twitterverse with illegible tweets full of groans and the occasional haikus and slowly exterminate the entire population of Earth with @replies. Honestly, I am worried, but that's why I am coming to you. Perhaps there is a way that you can add an option in the settings to allow for her to remember the position in the timeline. Perhaps this could could prevent the development of the aforementioned wedge, the devising of plans, the construction of secret labs, creation of mutant Twitter zombies, and eventual destruction of Earth. Perhaps there will never be any need to send Terminators back in time from the future to save John Connor!
Please get back to me when you can. I have not seen my wife much in the past few days so I can only imagine her lab construction might be underway. I think it's obvious that I must begin my construction as well now. I will be available via email, or via Twitter, and anxiously await your response.