2010-10-27

G2 Justification


If you know me, then you know that I am a 'Tech Whore' (thanks Sean). You will also know that specifically, I am very into Android phones and made a point of buying the G1, MyTouch 3G, and Nexus One, all immediately after their release. My poor wife has gratefully accepted my hand me downs as I upgrade to newer, faster, sexier models but I really thought she deserved a little something nice for herself. I guess that technically she made that decision for me by continually bitching voicing her concerns about how slow her phone moved, the keyboard was sub par, what about tethering, the camera doesn't have enough mega pixels, etc. but every time I asked her about getting a new phone, she would say "No, my phone is fine. I do not need a new phone." Bull shit. I know how it works ladies, I know how you employ your black magic and "custom language" to get things you want without ever specifically asking for them.

Examples:
"I'm hot" Def: Get up and turn a fan on.
"I'm hungry" Def: Go cook me dinner.
"How was your day?" Def: I need to complain about work for 45 minutes and this is my lead in.
"I think I'm getting bored at work" Def: Make more money so I don't have to work anymore.


Anyway, I knew she needed/wanted a new phone and me being the phone snob I am had not even looked into purchasing anything until someone release a high end Android device, running stock 2.2, with a hard keyboard. I followed the news about the G2 for months before it was announced and knew it would be perfect for her, so I pre-ordered one, but not before doing a little research... not on the phone, but on my wife.


I knew I would most likely be called upon to justify why she needed the new phone DESPITE knowing that she knew, that I knew, that she wanted me to know, that she knew that I knew she needed it.
Well, it looked like it was time for math. To begin I started tracking the number of complaints she made about her current phone (rooted MT3G running CM6). I had Post-its everywhere. I also collected data on my phone, laptop, notepads, and then pumped it all into Google Docs. I tracked a months worth of data in all, and the results were shocking. As I had feared, the number of phone related complaints was growing with the progression of time. I needed to act fast, but how fast exactly? How much time did I have?!?!

I needed to get all Good Will Hunting on this data and see what I was up against. I turned to my trusty white board, let my eyes roll back in my head, and then the magic happened.
(click to embiggen)
Basically it appeared that if I did not address this issue in 3 months she would spend 15 minutes a day complaining, and in 1 year 55 minutes a day complaining! That was all the proof I needed, and in order to save our marriage, I bought her a G2 and gave it to her on our Anniversary. Boom!