Y U MAD BRO?

So apparently...
A week or three ago we all went out to this lil Irish bar downtown, and I was really getting into the live music they had performing. So much in fact that I was banging my hand on the table, loudly. Every time my hand hit, my wedding ring hit too, making a sweet 'BOOM' every time it hit. It was also steadily leaving little marks, or as prefer to refer to them as, "tiny craters of destruction" atop the wooden table we were seated at (it was making all our drinks look all Jurassic Park too... BONUS). I didn't know it at the time, but my drumming was apparently not pleasing to the ear of the gentleman to the right here.
Awww so mad. My ring is made of solid tungsten brah! It devastates everything it touches, pets, electronics, small children, and yes, even hard wood table tops. There was this one time a guy was trying to rob a bank, and I knocked him out with my ring in one tap. Then I took the stolen money and bought a box of tacos, cause that's how heroes roll. Don't be mad, be thankful. Be thankful that all night long I was warding of criminals and would be evil doers to a rocking Irish beat. You're welcome.