So I have been getting a lot of questions about my eye and I felt it best to post the story here so everyone has the opportunity to understand why I am a bad ass.
Sunday night I had a double header at the rink. During the first game late in the second I was breaking down the ice with one guy to beat. I faked inside, cut outside, threw in a spin-o-rama, and left this fella in the dust. Apparently he does not like dust because the next thing that happened was his stick hitting me in the face, right above my right eye. Here is a diagram to better explain:
Yes that is right, after the shot to the eye, I still buried the goal, making me even more of a bad ass than I was yesterday (previously thought impossible). But that was not all, take a look at this photo taken before the ER visit:
After I scored that goal, I went to the locker room, sopped up the blood with a paper towel, found a band aid, slapped it on and finished the game. Then I played an entire second game right after (add 5 more bad ass points please).
After both games were over I drove home and asked the wife if she thought I needed stitches. She was unexpectedly annoyed but then drove me to the ER at 10:30pm. The following events are true, only the names of those involved have been changed because I can't remember them.
All in all a great evening, until I was called into work today at 6:30am....(add 2 more bad ass points for showing up).
I rule.
Yes that is right, after the shot to the eye, I still buried the goal, making me even more of a bad ass than I was yesterday (previously thought impossible). But that was not all, take a look at this photo taken before the ER visit:
After I scored that goal, I went to the locker room, sopped up the blood with a paper towel, found a band aid, slapped it on and finished the game. Then I played an entire second game right after (add 5 more bad ass points please).
After both games were over I drove home and asked the wife if she thought I needed stitches. She was unexpectedly annoyed but then drove me to the ER at 10:30pm. The following events are true, only the names of those involved have been changed because I can't remember them.
- Time 10:30pm
- Arrived at the ER, asked the nurse if she thought stitches were needed, her reply: Oh yeah...
- Sent to sit in waiting room one, next to vomiting in a plastic bag lady.
- Waited.
- Called back up to counter to provide name, again, and give current address.
- Sent back to waiting room one.
- Waited.
- Called to the intake room, put in small room next to vomiting in plastic bag lady's room.
- Vitals taken, questions asked, assessed by doctor, sent back to waiting room two.
- This time we sat across from vomiting in plastic bag lady and around the corner from crying old lady, who was also screaming for help the entire time.
- Waited.
- Called into registration room to give current insurance, decline proxy, and state that I am married.
- Sent to procedure room.
- Waited in procedure room.
- It is important to note here how disgustingly filthy everything at the hospital was (I wont say the name but it starts with a "B" and ends with "anner"). All the waiting room seats were dirty, floors sticky oh and here is a good one, when I laid on the gurney for the procedure, I got gum stuck to my back.
- Waited in procedure room some more.
- Received a Tetanus shot from a lady we will call Nurse Stabby.
- Waited for Doctor.
- Doctor arrives and covers me in towels and rags, then stabs me several times with the local anesthetic. Then spends all of 20 minutes cleaning and putting in the 13 or so stitches.
- Sent to Discharge waiting room.
- Waited in discharge waiting room.
- Called into discharge.
- Discharged.
- Time: 4:30am
All in all a great evening, until I was called into work today at 6:30am....(add 2 more bad ass points for showing up).
I rule.
it's so something that uncle dave would of done....cleaned himself up and raged on....
ReplyDelete20 bad ass points cuz
Hate to say it i agree with justin, call me when ur balls drop
ReplyDelete