Global Domination

As you probably know, I have decided to offer my "Global Domination Studies" course, to the public.
The intensive life long course starts with five required readings-
The introduction is with Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People".  This book is part one of the two part foundation for this course. With out an ability to influence people (the section on winning friends is irrelevant to a Global Dominator) one can not even fathom having the skills to rule , or better yet, dominate.
 
Part two of the two part first section of the five readings, is "The Pirate Primer" by George Choundas. With out mastery of the official language of swashbucklers and rouges, you will never have the verbal capacity to make your intentions known and your needs demanded. Did you know there are 44 different meanings for the word, "Arrgh"? If you don't know that... you don't know anything.
 
Book 3 is an informative work by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, "Your Erroneous Zones". In this section particular attention is payed to chapter five called, "The Useless Emotions - Guilt and Worry". 
 
   The fourth reading is arguably one of the more controversial in this course. "The  Alphabet of Manliness" by Maddox is often a parting point for some of the females in the course. The lessons learned in this reading are instrumental to proceed to the final section. If one is truly unable to grasp the concepts of Ass Kicking, Lumberjacks, and Obedience, then Global Domination will never be within grasp.
 
The final text is the most essential component of the course, but is useless with out the aforementioned foundations. "How to Rule the World; A Handbook for the Aspiring Dictator" written by Andre De Guillaume, 140 pages of insightful gold. This book will help you determine if ruling the world is right for you, the best and easiest courses to reach the top, and how to stay there. 

This course will be offered in the future and will last forever. 
Enrollment will be available, eventually.
Nominal fees may apply.

3 comments:

  1. Seriously?! You are offering your bathroom reading books course style? Perhaps you should brush up on your spelling before offering any courses Nerd.. :-)

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  2. Yeah... that course is so bad ass that it broke my spell checker.
    Also, note there were no courses or readings offered on spelling, as people who spell correctly all the time or point out other persons spelling errors are typically not viable candidates for Global Domination. They do however, make great speech writers for their ruler, if the ruler decides not to have them exiled or executed for insolence. Just an FYI. :)

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  3. I strenuously object to this alleged course!!
    Anyone, and I mean ANYONE who endorses anything by a french man, should be viewed as anti-American.

    This sort of disrespect is typical of the generation we Boomers birthed (much to our regret)from, let's say, 1981 up to and including 1987.

    Eventually this generation must mature and become less self-centered, (me me me me) and become what all Boomers became: Faceless, nameless, numbered drones, devoid of the cool they once had, their senses of humor no longer tolerated, forced to abandon their former selves, and ultimately exiled to the realm of the fossil.

    Yes, this, and so much more will happen when your generation abandons America and continues to listen to the twisted ramblings of a delusional pirate!!!

    BUT.....

    It's not too late!
    Turn back!!
    Make amends!!!
    Hire the handicapped, don't just raise them!! Remember who paid your bills!!! Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!

    Go in Peace, the rant is over.

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