Close the garage door

I don't know what it is about being passive aggressive that is so fun, but it is. Here is an email I recently sent to my brother in law regrading forgetting to close the garage door when leaving.

Rob-

I know you just ran out of here with a full blown chubby to go track down a dead animal in the woods, but if you could perhaps place a minuscule amount of more effort into attempting to remember to close the garage door when you leave it would be greatly appreciated. Leaving the door open undermines the security efforts I have in place. I would not have said anything if this were the first time it has happened, but it's not.

I am a member of a gym now, so I suggest you take this reminder seriously.

Suck it,
Management

I received a call from Rob about this email to let me know that while he was driving, reading, and preparing to give his equally witty reply to this message... he got pulled over for speeding (technically he was given a ticket for wasting finite resources). Win.