Indestructible

Let me share a story, a story that chronicles the universe's attempt to destroy me, and my inability to be defeated.
Last week I was cruising down the freeway on my way into work. I was streaming some tunes and sipping on my morning cup of joe, just being awesome. Then, all of the sudden while taking a sip of my warm beverage ... EXPLOSION!! I casually glance towards the noise and see my passenger side rear window has exploded all over the inside of my ride. I nonchalantly set my coffee down, pick a few pieces of glass out from my collar, and glance in the side view mirror. I do not see any glass being strewn across the freeway so I take another sip of my beverage and continue on my way into work. I've got places to be and things to do. Nice try universe.

I spend most of my day in meetings, make a couple calls to arrange replacing the window the universe shot out, and head off towards home. Once again, I'm back on the freeway, streaming tunes, and being awesome when I hear screeching tires. I see the car up ahead to the left slam on their brakes and swerve in to my lane. I respond by causally changing lanes to the right just in time to witness three cars rear end one another (no injuries). Silly universe, you're going to need to try harder than that if your aiming to take me out. I make it home, unscathed, pour a frosty heffe from the tap and enjoy my evening.
A couple day after getting my window fixed (and an oil change) I go to start my ride up only to discover it won't start. Obviously, the universe killed it. Missed me again.
After a brief two day stint in the shop the ride is running again and I remain indestructible. I now have the following statement for the universe:
Universe; I cannot be defeated, so quit messing with my ride.

BAPs: 10

3 comments:

  1. Rumors out of Detroit say that the Ford Motor Company will be issuing a recall on the Ford Escape SUV.

    The recall of the trouble-plagued vehicle centers around window glass that explodes and shatters for no obvious reason. This phenomenon results in a rapid decrease in cabin pressure and wind noise. Shortly after the window explosion occurs, the driver believes that he has become invincible and that the "universe" has no claim on him.

    Ford engineers are baffled at this point and say that all they can do is to replace the shattered glass.
    They go on to say that the drivers' belief in their own invincibility could most likely be a pre-existing condition, and the exploding windows could quite possibly be caused by the already swollen head of the driver which may have become far larger than the vehicle can contain. The engineers and management at Ford recommend that, at the minimum, the drivers obtain counselling as soon as possible, to be safe.

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